I talk a lot in this column
about making time for things like writing or volunteering because you LOVE doing
them. There is a wonderful energy that manifests in your life when you’re
actively pursuing something you’re passionate and excited about. Today however,
I’d like to explore the flip side…being motivated by something you HATE.
Now I know hate is a strong
word that we generally try to teach our kids not to use, but sometimes, you run
into circumstances that are just so wrong, so depressing, so awful, there is no
other polite word to use to describe it. This summer unfortunately I had a head
on collision with just such a situation. I thought I was doing a good thing by
volunteering to work for an animal-related charity as part of their summer
program. I had heard whispers around the pet owners community that this wasn’t
a good place, but there was nothing tangible, just rumors and a few seemingly incredible
allegations.
The program was six weeks long
and by week two I realized that the rumors weren’t even the tip of the iceberg.
This was truly a bad place masquerading as a good place. Yes, good things did
happen, some animals were adopted, some lives were saved, but this seemed
almost incidental to the way the place was run. The staff and even volunteers
seemed to live in fear of bringing down the wrath of the administration for
even the slightest error, or appearance of error. Rules and policies were put
in place and discarded faster than anyone could keep up, the questioning of
policy or administrators was not allowed and human and animals alike were
treated with disdeain and disrespect.
The only reason I stayed as
long as I did was because I had given my word to the two wonderful and talented
teachers who were running the program. And they weren’t the only good,
passionate, well-meaning people who were trapped working under these terrible
conditions. The worst part of this, the part that will haunt me (along with the
eyes of a beautiful German Shepherd, now lost) is that while I was there, I did
nothing. I saved no one. I changed nothing. I hated what I saw and felt and
experienced, but I ended up being as shell-shocked and impotent as everyone
else who knows what is going on inside this organization. That’s the bad news…the
better news is that shock wears off, and that’s where being a writer motivated
by anger and injustice comes into play.
Author Andrew Vachss was so
motivated by the crimes and attitudes he witnessed as a lawyer specializing in
child welfare that he developed a character named Burke and wrote a series of
novels about him. He also heads a child protection mission called The Zero and is
one of the founders of a national association called PROTECT. This work is in
addition to his law practice that consists of only children and youths who need
his help. Vachss has always been a
personal hero of mine, now perhaps is the time to follow his lead and let my negative
experience lead me to positive action. I’m not sure exactly how, or what form
it will take yet, but anger is a form of energy and properly channeled it is a
force that can change the world. I’ll keep you posted.
