Juggling Crocodiles

NaNoWriMo, HFYL & CANDY

National Novel Writing Month. I'm doin it! I signed up and I'm doin it. I've thought about it for years and I've cheered as others have done it, but I've never taken the plunge myself. I've always thought I was waaaay too busy and up until a few days ago, I was sticking with that line of reasoning. I'm too busy to write 50K in one month. But then I realized that if I was EVER going to write my crappy first draft of the novel that's been knocking around in my head for the past couple of months, there was no better time than right now. So, I'm doin it...and I'll keep you posted. 

In HUNGRY FOR YOUR LOVE news...Editor Lori Perkins announced that HFYL has been picked up by St. Martin's Press and will be published as a trade paperback for Halloween 2010! May I get a Woot-Woot! And check out the articles in The Guardian, GalleyCat and even as a mention under the definition for ZOMBIE in Wikipedia! And, if you're taking this whole zombie romance thing personally, click over to the Love, Romance, Passion Blog and take Keira's quiz, HOW TO TELL IF YOUR BOYFRIEND IS A ZOMBIE. 

And, in celebration of my favorite holiday, and in the spirit of full disclosure and deep personal honesty...I present my 2009 Halloween candy report. I give myself high marks for putting off the annual candy buying expedition until 9 days prior to the big night. I bought 3 bags of chocolate based candy-2 bags of Butterfingers and 1 bag of Baby Ruths- and 2 of the large bags of a mix that combined Tootsie Pops, Tootsie Rolls, in 3 different sizes and including the small fruit flavored ones, as well as boxes of Dots. I believe this mix used to include Sweet Tarts but there were none in them this year. I brought the candy home and stored it outside of our normal paths of traffic. The oldest granddaughter breached one of the chocolate bags last Sunday afternoon, but because I had been smart, I bought no chocolate that I actually liked, I was able to close up the bag and put it back away without any problems. 

I didn't actually open any of the bags until yesterday when I needed the Tootsie Rolls to make the roof of the Haunted Gingerbread House and it was at that point, I broke down and started nibbling. So, I was able to stave off the annual candy binge until October 30th, which has got to be a new personal best...and I was also able to avoid the great choco-pig out. Granted Tootsie Rolls aren't exactly tofu and rice cakes, but let's just say I've done a WHOLE HECK of a lot worse in previous years. Now I only have one more danger zone to navigate- trick or treat leftovers! And given that it's almost 8pm and we've had less than 10 kids stop by, the next 24 hours, or so might either find me crankily battling temptation until I can give or throw away the excess, or riding the sugar & self loathing tsunami. I'll let you know...

Get HUNGRY!

HUNGRY FOR YOUR LOVE: An Anthology of Zombie Romance

On sale today at Ravenous Romance!

Spend Doorbell Night Picking Agent Lori Perkins' Brain!

If you've ever wanted to feast on the delicious brains of a top agent, not to mention the editor of Ravenous Romance's latest offering, HUNGRY FOR YOUR LOVE: An Anthology of Zombie Romance, here's your chance!

WHAT: Live Chat With NY Agent Lori Perkins - "THE ZOMBIE STOMP"

WHEN: Friday, October 30th - 6:00 - 8:00 p.m. EST

WHERE: Ravenous Romance Ning Chat Room

They'll be talking zombie love and what's hot in publishing. Ask Lori what you always wanted to know about agents. And, they'll be giving away gift certificates for free e-books from the Ravenous Romance site!

Of Writer's Piles & Places

I am nosy by nature, especially when it comes to what my peers and betters in the writing world are up to. I am particularly curious when it comes to their offices and workspaces. My favorite desk calendar ever was based on a book by Jill Krementz (Kurt Vonnegut's wife) called THE WRITER'S DESK that featured a different writer's workspace every week. I actually got out a magnifying glass to get a better look at Stephen King's desk. Unfortunately this is what my desk looks like today, but I do have a good excuse...as you can see, the new window is in and any day now my wonderful husband will be done painting the trim...truly...any day now...really, ANY FRICKIN DAY NOW. HONEY. SWEETIE. YO!

But I digress...leaving frustration and heading back to curiosity...I also enjoy snooping into other writer's TBR (to be read) piles. Personally, I have always been A.D.D when it comes to both reading and writing. My piles look like a prison book mobile exploded and the tomes landed in haphazard heaps around my house. In the interest of sharing though, let's paw through the drift next to my chair in the living room, my home away from home office since the contractors have invaded, and see what's there. I'm sure I'll even surprise myself, since I have a bad habit of moving books around and then forgetting where I put them and why. From the top of the pile downward:

• Bog Bodies: Mummies and Curious Corpses by Natalie Jane Prior-research for my novel WIP
• Who Dares Wins: The Green Beret Way to Succeed by Bob Mayer
• The Writing Diet: Write Yourself Right-Size by Julia Cameron
• It's Halloween by Jack Prelutsky
• Reiki Nurse: My Life as a Nurse, and How Reiki Changed It by Meridith Kendall 
• Jump by Tim Maleeny- a new mystery from Poisoned Pen Press
• 
  History Is Dead: A Zombie Anthology-edited by Kim Paffenroth
• How to Free Your Mind: Tara the Liberator by Thubten Chodron
• 
  Going Bovine by Libba Bray-Young Adult novel that's both pleasure and research since it's about a teenager with Mad Cow Disease, a brain infection with symptoms that suspiciously resemble classic zombification. If you click on no other link on this blog, you MUST check out Libba's hysterical YouTube Interview.

• The Game On Diet by Krista Vernoff & Az Ferguson
• Blogging For Dummies by Susannah Gardner and Shane Birley
• 
  Menopaws: The Silent Meow by Martha Sacks

Now, if that listing doesn't give you whiplash and cause you to think WTF, girl? then you're probably also writer. So, if you ARE another writer, give me a shout and let me know what's lurking in your TBR pile. Next blog post, in honor of all things scary, I'll share a list of the men and women that keep me company in bed...the boudoir TBR!

Hungry For Your Love

I am thrilled to announce that my short story, FIRST LOVE NEVER DIES has been included in the latest offering from Ravenous Romance, HUNGRY FOR YOUR LOVE: An Anthology of Zombie Romance. 

Editor Lori Perkins, agent extraordinaire and author of the Agent in the Middle blog, hatched the idea for this anthology at the 2009 Northeastern Writers Conference. According to Lori, it started as a double dog dare to prove that vampires weren't the only monsters capable of romance. She was convinced that love among the undead could be written, and written well. 21 stories were chosen out of 110 submissions representing every aspect of amore'--romance, revenge, lost love, humor, and yes, even smut!

One of the most exciting things about being part of this anthology is that I get to share the pages with the amazingly talented Francesca Lia Block. I fell in love with her Young Adult masterpiece Weetzie Bat years ago and I believe she's only gotten better with each book. 

HUNGRY FOR YOUR LOVE goes on sale October 29th, so be sure to stop by the Ravenous Romance website to pick up your copy in time for Halloween! 

Devouring the Dead

I have been gorging myself on zombie fiction lately, on both the reading and writing ends. I don't know if it's the Halloween in the air, the current political climate or just relishing the thought of being able to eat whatever I want and not worry about the caloric values. Not to mention I completely understand the whole zombie method of chasing down and eating anything that doesn't eat me first. That pretty much describes my nocturnal noshing habits to a T...or perhaps a Z. 

But I digress...I've been a fan of the horror genre since I fell in love with the very cool cover of the 1975 Signet paperback edition of Stephen King's wonderful Salem's Lot. I was about 14 and the single drop of red blood on the etched black cover just transfixed me. That was my first King, and after King, there was Koontz and then when I started dating and had less time for reading, there were triple feature horror flicks at the local drive ins. Last House on the Left, Don't Look in the Basement, and eventually, a special showing of Romero's magnificent Night of the Living Dead in all it's black and white majesty. I was born in 1961 and clearly remember when my favorite television shows switched from black and white to color. Until I saw Romero's film on the 30 foot screen, I had always assumed that color was better, that I needed color to fully experience a movie. But sitting there in that old station wagon with my boyfriend (and unfortunately a late dinner of a chicken sandwich I had grabbed from work) I will never forget the power of that BBQ scene. And so a love of zombies and the buttons they pushed within me, was born. 

Over the years I've written quite a bit of horror and even published some shorts, but for some reason, until recently, I never tried my hand at creating my own zombies. I did a lot of serial killer stuff, mainly because the psychology and brain physiology behind the crimes fascinated me so much. I mean, we're all human, we all have our bad days, throw in a little hormonal overload and sprinkle in a few random troglodytes and suddenly Hannibal Lechter's human resource skills don't seem so out of line. I get that by writing about serial killers, I got to explore that side of myself without collateral damage. So what does it say now that at this point in my life...middle aged, overweight, and peri menopausal, all of a sudden I'm hot for zombies? Mortality issues? Political and cultural ennui? Statement of where I think the world is heading? Or maybe...nah...this one is too far out there...maybe I'm just finally able to let myself and all my preconceived BS go and HAVE SOME FUN. I love zombies. I've always loved zombies. I particularly love the idea of turning people I know and dislike into fictional zombies and then SHOOTING THEM IN THE HEAD. 

Wow! I think I finally something more fun than going to a driving range and pretending that golf balls are the eyes of people I don't like as I take a big swing. Wishing you the same pleasure in your work!

Snowy Crocodiles and Comfort Food

It snowed here in CT yesterday, a couple of inches in the hills and enough to have to scrape off the car here in the central region. Weird weather for October 15. According to the weather folk, not the earliest measurable snowfall for our area, but fairly unusual. I have no idea if this is a foreshadowing of the winter ahead, or just one of those New England aberrations that you're supposed to be used to if you're a native, but never are. 

So, does weather qualify as a Crocodile? Absolutely. But even worse, are the emotional, psychological and physical ramifications of, in this case, early cold and snow...For me that translates to one very dangerous thing...COMFORT FOOD! 

Topping my list of all time favorites:

• Mac & Cheese
• Grilled Cheese
• Soup, preferably with cheese like a nice French Onion
• State Line Cheese Popcorn, if it still existed 

You see a pattern...cheese yes, but really anything that's warm and chewy and carb-y and dense. Food you can wrap yourself in. The edible equivalent of a big hug from your favorite, non-creepy relative.

I am a native New Englander and for as long as I can remember, the cold months were for hibernating. Comfort food, warm fires, cozy coverings and sedentary pleasures like reading and knitting and TV and card/board game playing. We were never winter sport people and frankly to this day, I still don't understand people enthusiastically driving hundreds of miles TOWARD snow and ice so they can either slide down or climb up the same. We live in New England, you can slip and fall down your own front steps if you need to experience the thrill and excitement of the cold, wet stuff! 

But I digress...back to cheese and hibernating. Both lovely thoughts, unfortunately, neither are helpful when it comes to losing weight or motivating me to hop on (or at least not escape screaming from) the exercise/fitness bus. 

As for their effect on my writing productivity, who knows. The Fitness Fuhrurs would wag their skinny little fingers and chide that heavy food and sedentary behavior will compromise my creativity, cause or exacerbate depression and smother my brain activity. My cheese-curl-stained answer to that would be that I can't tickle the keyboard when I'm schlepping on the treadmill or locked up in a Urdhva Dhanurasana yoga pose, or from the ER stretcher that comes immediately after either of those two things. But that's just an evasion and even I realize that. 

What it all comes down to more than likely is that I am a LOT less complex than I like to admit. I LIKE feeling warm and cozy and sedentary and cheese-filled. I do NOT LIKE pain, sweating, depravation, being out of breath or obviously and publicly sucking at something as relatively simple as moving my own body around. To a lesser degree this principle also applies to my writing. I LIKE having written a sparkling piece that makes others smile, laugh, gasp or throw things. I do NOT LIKE staring at a blank writing surface until the sparkles appear. This will surprise no one, but I'd rather be eating cheese. 

Huh? What? Crocodiles? Where?

Yes. Crocodiles. Me. Juggling. And no, this is not my homage to Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris, although the author probably deserves one for getting this bestselling book written in the space of seven months. It's taken me almost that long to decide on the title for this blog. 

But as usual, I digress. Back to why I chose the name Juggling Crocodiles and WTF it means. I used to describe my life as herding kittens, but the more I thought about it, unless the kittens were giant, rabid, zombie, mutant felines who kept trying to chew my face off, the analogy wasn't really accurate. Like most people these days, my daily life is a crazy patchwork of putting out fires and then beating myself up for never seemingly even making a dent in the To Do list. 

Theoretically, my life should be simple. I have two major goals (the same goals I've had since the age of 10 or so but let's let that slide for the moment)

1. Write a novel
2. Lose weight

There are, of course addendums to both...

1. Write and novel AND get it happily and successfully published.
2. Lose weight AND get fit and healthy

Since I do not have biological children or employment outside of my freelance writing and editing work, these goals SHOULD be easily attainable. So why am I 48 years old and still fat and novel-less?

This is where the crocodiles and the juggling there of come in. My weight and my writing are probably the largest and most vicious of the snapping reptiles I try to keep in the air. Fitness/Exercise is another, but admittedly, that one rarely raises it's head out of the swamp, let alone sees flight time. Add to that list the other usual crocs, family, pets, volunteer work, hobbies and other personal preferences and obligations and this should give you an idea of the direction I'm going here. 

So, if any of this sounds familiar, interesting or you are just a voyeuristic sadist who lives for the possibility of seeing other people crash and burn (NASCAR fans I'm talking to you), I invoke the tag line of the old National Geographic show, "Join us, won't you?" Ba dum ba da da...