Juggling Crocodiles

Phone Manners Rant

It is 7:30 Sunday morning. I am where any self-respecting warm blooded creature is this early on a snowy weekend day...I am sleeping. Then the phone rings. Having step children and grandchildren and elderly relatives and friends, I pick up the phone, my heart in my throat. 

Me: Hello

Unknown Idiot: Who's THIS?

Me: Um...you called me.

UI: Okay...Terry?

Me: No

UI: Then WHO'S THIS?

Me: Not Terry. Goodbye. And then, since it was a nice, heavy land line...SLAM.

I know that I am old. I will be 49 this year, but I distinctly remember being taught phone manners as a child. I don't remember if they were taught at home, in school or both, but I know I have them and they are so ingrained in me I don't even have to think about it, the phrases like "Hello, May I speak to so and so?" and "I'm sorry, I must have the wrong number" roll out automatically. 

So when did they STOP teaching phone manners? My husband says it used to be part of the 4th grade curriculum when he taught in Waterbury. Granted he retired more than ten years ago, but most of the UI's that I talk to are adults, so WTF?  Is it an inverse relationship in that now that everyone has a phone, it is no longer anything to bother being mannerly about? 

I wish I could say that this morning was an unusual occasion, but I can't. It seems I run into some version of the Unknown Idiot Caller at least a few times a week and have for years now. So I turned to Google. One of the things I like about Google is that not only can you get direct answers to your searches, you can also get a feeling for how your topic relates to the world. 

In this case, after looking at dozens of webpages that came up under "telephone manners" or "phone etiquette" I got the distinct impression that basic phone manners (like the ones UI and his ilk lack) are considered kid stuff. Pretty much the only hits I got were on teaching and parenting sites. Phone etiquette pages for adults were mainly concerned with cell phone and business applications and that is unfortunate, and a little surprising given the upswing in rampant rudeness. 

These were the only two pages I found that covered basic, common courtesy for adults. 

• Telephone Etiquette at essortment.com
• Phone Etiquette at Thinkquest.org

Then there was this site for parents and teachers on how to teach their kids how not to be Unknown Idiots.

• Phone Etiquette for Kids at Momready.com

And this was an interesting thread on phone etiquette in general over at Monkeyfilter

• Conversation on Phone Etiquette

So what's the answer to all the UI's out there? Call screening? Mandatory etiquette tests before being allowed to purchase a phone? A new super hero called Manner Man? Laser sighted, hand-held rocket launchers? I'm taking suggestions, since I'm up and all.

New Agent @ Lori Perkins

Lori Perkins, agent and editorial director for Ravenous Romance (and my editor for HUNGRY FOR YOUR LOVE: An Anthology of Zombie Romance) has announced the addition of Marisa Corvisiero to her agency. Marisa will be "specializing in science fiction, fantasy, horror and romance, as well as some young adult and children's literature. In non-fiction, she is interested in seeing proposals for memoirs, how-to (in any industry), guides and tales about the legal practice, parenting self-help and mainstream science (no text books please)".

For more information check out Lori's beautifully updated blog, Agent in the Middle 

Koontz on Being a Writer

 A nice bonus came in Dean Koontz's newsletter today...The reprinted introduction from the 2001 horror novel LIFE IN THE DARK by Richard Layman. Not so much actual writing advice, but touching on something even more difficult, IMHO, how to BE a writer and keep your humor and grace and dignity. Whether you love horror or hate it, if you're a writer, and you aspire to make a career out of it WITHOUT making an ass of yourself, check out Mr. Koontz's words of wisdom. 

I ♥ Anthologies

 As a writer (and one trained as a journalist, back when the term journalist was not a borderline curse word) I am deadline obsessed. Give me a non-fiction topic and the date you need it by and I'm a MACHINE. On the other hand, telling myself to write a fictional piece for a date, editor, agent and publishing house to be named later, doesn't do much to get my butt in gear. I am an expert at blowing through self imposed deadlines and not even sending myself a note of apology.  

To counteract this obnoxious habit of mine, I have begun to collect and submit to calls for anthology collections. The ones I'm listing below are in my fields of interest, but if you spend a little time looking around the Internet, you can find these calls in just about every genre. Poets & Writers for example has a list in their Classified section. Caveat Emptor, of course, make sure you read the fine print and you're okay with both what they're offering for compensation and what they're taking as far as publishing rights. But beyond that, go forth, have fun and be productive...and don't forget to send yourself a nice note or some flowers when you get that acceptance call or email!

• Steampunk Romance Anthology & Red Hot Winter Anthology both out of Samhain Publishing
• Once Upon a Threesome-Ravenous Romance, my publisher for my short story First Love Never Dies in the anthology, HUNGRY FOR YOUR LOVE: An Anthology of Zombie Romance, edited by Lori Perkins. 
• Last Man Anthology-A "print publication bringing together the best of catastrophic literature".
• My Cat's Life & My Dog's Life-Chicken Soup for the Soul
• Various Horror Titles at Pill Hill Press
• Various Zombie Titles at Library of the Living Dead Press

Damn, The Bookworm is Closing

The Bookworm, a wonderful independent bookstore in West Hartford center is closing. I don't get up to West Hartford very often anymore, but this store was always a MUST SHOP. And I know that a LOT of you New England authors have had your book signings there over the years.

Here are some links for more on the story:

Dan Kain's Report on WFSB

Save the Bookworm-Helen Ubinas

Community Bookstore to Close-Courant.com

CT Animals Lovers Please Read & Take Action

 This is Geno, our rescued Maine Coon Cat. Two little neighborhood girls showed up at our door with him last March 30. They said they had found him in their yard and that their Mom had called around to try to find someone to take him, but the vet's were too expensive and the shelters turned him down because he was obviously sick. They knew we loved cats and had a bunch of them so they thought maybe we could help. We took him in with the intention of just getting him healthy again and then we were going to give him to the CT Humane Society. We already had 6 rescued cats, plus our rescue dog, Louie and really didn't need another one. 

Luckily for Geno, and for us, we fell ass over teakettle in love with this big galoot. But I almost entrusted him to the CT Humane Society, thinking that I was doing a good, responsible, caring thing...imagining he would find a good home with a loving family. And then I started volunteering there and found out that if I had given him up, more often than not, I would have sent him to his death. 

George Gombossy, the Ctwatchdog has published two more articles about what is really going on at CHS. The first one, Inside View At Connecticut Humane Society: Former Finance Assistant Details Needless Killing of Animals and Other Impacts of Staffing Shortage gives hard numbers and a chilling look behind the scenes of what many employees and volunteers suspected was going on. I was there this summer and even I was stupefied by the very courageous Bridget Karchere's report. 

What has really upset me this morning though is the realization, after reading this article, that if any of my darling furry family members had had the misfortune to come under the CT Humane Society's "care", none of them would have survived to be adopted by Peter and I. That's right 0. They ALL would have been euthanized because none of them were perfect when we adopted them. I don't know about you, but I can't imagine my life without these funny, loving,amazing balls of fur in it. 

The second of Gombossy's articles is disturbing from a business, ethical, moral, donor and HUMAN standpoint, Connecticut Humane Society Firing More Union Supporters, Not Enough Staff Left to Properly Care for Animals, Workers Claim.I challenge you to read this article and not be outraged by it, especially in a facility that has the word "HUMANE" in it's TITLE. I understand that some people will be skeptical, I was myself, until I volunteered there. These employees and volunteers are speaking the truth. And they are doing it at great personal expense. Mr. Johnston is already threatening libel suits and he is well known for following through on his litigation threats. That's part of culture of fear that permeates CHS. Even I have thought twice and three times about attaching making my opinions public and attaching my name. But then, I look at the furry faces that surround me every day and then I think of the animals I met at CHS, the ones that are now gone, prematurely, needlessly and I know I can't let this go. 

What I am asking of you, of anyone who reads this blog, is to send just one email or Facebook or Twitter message to one other person and tell them what's going on at the Connecticut Humane Society. And, if you are particularly outraged about this, take another minute and send an email to a news outlet, to the Governor, to your State Legislator, or to the Attorney General and make sure that this story doesn't get buried or forgotten about. Here are some links:

Governor Rell

CT Attorney General

CT State Legislators

The Hartford Courant

The Manchester Journal Inquirer 

WFSB

WTNH

NBC CT 30

What's Up with Facebook?

I know that: 

A) Laurie Halse Anderson (one of my FAVORITE writers, speakers, German shepherd owners and people, in general) has suggested that, in order to boost all of our collective productivities, February should be declared an Internet-free month. 

And:

B) Facebook is one of my guiltiest time-sucking Internet pleasures.

But what the &^%*% is going on with FB this AM? I keep getting a message that it will be down "for a few hours for maintenance and they're sorry for the inconvenience."

This is not an inconvenience. This is cold turkey FB withdrawal. Me no like. 

Facebook, Fix thyself. Soon!

That is all. Back to scribbling, as Laurie would say.