It is 7:30 Sunday morning. I am where any self-respecting warm blooded creature is this early on a snowy weekend day...I am sleeping. Then the phone rings. Having step children and grandchildren and elderly relatives and friends, I pick up the phone, my heart in my throat.
Me: Hello
Unknown Idiot: Who's THIS?
Me: Um...you called me.
UI: Okay...Terry?
Me: No
UI: Then WHO'S THIS?
Me: Not Terry. Goodbye. And then, since it was a nice, heavy land line...SLAM.
I know that I am old. I will be 49 this year, but I distinctly remember being taught phone manners as a child. I don't remember if they were taught at home, in school or both, but I know I have them and they are so ingrained in me I don't even have to think about it, the phrases like "Hello, May I speak to so and so?" and "I'm sorry, I must have the wrong number" roll out automatically.
So when did they STOP teaching phone manners? My husband says it used to be part of the 4th grade curriculum when he taught in Waterbury. Granted he retired more than ten years ago, but most of the UI's that I talk to are adults, so WTF? Is it an inverse relationship in that now that everyone has a phone, it is no longer anything to bother being mannerly about?
I wish I could say that this morning was an unusual occasion, but I can't. It seems I run into some version of the Unknown Idiot Caller at least a few times a week and have for years now. So I turned to Google. One of the things I like about Google is that not only can you get direct answers to your searches, you can also get a feeling for how your topic relates to the world.
In this case, after looking at dozens of webpages that came up under "telephone manners" or "phone etiquette" I got the distinct impression that basic phone manners (like the ones UI and his ilk lack) are considered kid stuff. Pretty much the only hits I got were on teaching and parenting sites. Phone etiquette pages for adults were mainly concerned with cell phone and business applications and that is unfortunate, and a little surprising given the upswing in rampant rudeness.
These were the only two pages I found that covered basic, common courtesy for adults.
Then there was this site for parents and teachers on how to teach their kids how not to be Unknown Idiots.
And this was an interesting thread on phone etiquette in general over at Monkeyfilter
So what's the answer to all the UI's out there? Call screening? Mandatory etiquette tests before being allowed to purchase a phone? A new super hero called Manner Man? Laser sighted, hand-held rocket launchers? I'm taking suggestions, since I'm up and all.